WHAT IF WE DO IT SIMPLE?
“LOG KYA KAHENGAY “ has proved out to be the biggest killer of dreams and wishes since forever. These three words are strong enough to prevent the society from progressing. Being a girl of this century, when I see people spending their lifetime savings over big fat marriages, literally kills me inside.
A middle-class family that hardly bears the monthly expenses, will do anything to spend money over their child marriages, even if they borrow money from different people. What’s the actual point of spending the money that you know will take half of your life to earn? Breaking stereotypes, if you don’t want this senseless bickering or you have other ways and better plans to invest that money on, why this “ Log kya kahengay” has to kill all that planning and wishes. Are the so called ‘ Log’ financially helping you with it? Are they going to decide whether this marriage is competitive enough or not? Then why are we even considering them and letting them judge it?
It’s not an issue of any particular family, it’s totally wide spread. People are scared about being talked of and bad mouthed if they won’t put much on weddings.
The pressure of society pushes even the unwilling parents into this blindly followed the act of wasting their money, that they had earned with all the struggle and wrestle. Even if the bride or groom doesn’t want all these typical RASAMS and gatherings and wants a simple , manageable and affordable wedding, why does that hurt their family’s dignity anyway? But wait till you get emotionally blackmailed to the extent about it and eventually you have to act accordingly.
The Prophet’s Sunnah concerning marriage is quite simple and easy that doesn’t involve these typical never ending events that include mayon, mehndi, baarat, valima and now the dholki sessions as well. All of it is a total waste of money and time. You have many other better options like starting a business, investing somewhere, buying property, studying abroad and what not?
The money we spend on a marriage these days can be utilised in better places and can be used in better ways that will benefit you at the end of the day, you just have to spend it smartly and not wasting it treating hundreds of people you barely know.
But luckily, as a matter of fact, this situation is changing, though at a turtle’s pace, but it eventually is. The young generation is not ready to blindly follow the rituals and this idea has started emerging in youth as I have witnessed many people registering for court marriages or doing with small family weddings and not with thousands of people. The best idea I personally found was travelling. Yes with all the money that people usually waste on typical weddings, one should travel with their soulmate, discovering new places, road trips, experiencing the real essence fun.
Let’s initiate things individually and stop following the rituals of the society. Let’s not complicate the SHAADI CULTURE by understanding the value and importance of money and do it in a way that can be followed by the people of every class.
Share it if you think marriages should be simple and effortless rather than complicated and lavish.
Blog by Munazza Asfar